Sunday, 1 July 2012
Adapting my Life
When i was first diagnosed it was as though my life stopped the life I thought I was going to have and the debilitating existence I had to endure was a very lonely one.
First I was getting out of bed and I fell on the floor my back had failed me I could not move not at all.
As usual no one believed me well it is hard to believe that a person would get out of bed and then just fall on the floor and get stuck!
I went to the Hospital after seeing the GP for the obligatory X-ray and was told after waiting two weeks for the result (I will never know why it took 2 weeks!) I was told it may be a slipped disk. that was that I now had to readjust my life, I knew others who had slipped disks and it now appeared that would be my life from now on, sleeping on a door and hobbling around.
I had to give up my chosen career as it did not suit people with back problems.
Yes a hotel and catering manager can't do their job hobbling around now can they.
I had spent a good 4 years of my life at collage then university and then training now only to find I had to change my career, what a waste of 4 years.
I then spent many weeks going to physio thank goodness for my grandmother who helped pay for this and drove me to the physio.
I had to give up my flat and my job and move back home to my Mother.
All of a sudden out of the blue I lost my sight this was scary, I did not know what to do I did not know how long this would go on for or if I would ever get my sight back.
I went to the accident and emergency room and was sent to the eye department the pain was excruciating my vision was like cut in half and blurry and there was nothing they could do or rather perhaps would do.
The ground looked as though it was moving like sand on a beach on a very windy day.
So one half of my sight was just black and the bottom part of my sight was blurry and the ground was constantly moving. i thought am I going to be stuck like this will i have to now learn Braille or get a guide dog?
After a couple of days my eyesight returned but I was now also suffering from extreme tingling all over my body and extreme fatigue.
My grandmother said I should try a new GP to get to the bottom of what was wrong with me.
I asked to be referred to a neurologist this request was met with complete disdain and I was told it was a waste of time! As I am not the sort of person to accept this I paid privately to see the neurologist.
Then I had the MRI scan and was given the diagnoses of Multiple Sclerosis.
I would of preferred the 'may be' slipped disk!
Now this is when my life really stopped as I knew it everyone I knew was working and having a life I could not plan for things or events because i did not know what i would be like from one day to the next. Would i be able to get out of bed and actually stay awake? would I be able to see? Would the tingling stop? Would the pain ever go away?
This was my life now and as the internet did not exist yet it was a very lonely time.
I know most go through this when given a M.S diagnoses but M.S is all about adapting your life.
Yes Adapting and i was not going to let M.S rule my life I would adapt I would learn Braille if i had to I would continue as much as I could.
This was a difficult path and probably the biggest test I have ever had to go through.
But we humans are very good at surviving and adapting and thank goodness we are.
**Always consult a LLMD (Lyme Literate Doctor) or your own health care professional.**